The winter breeze slips into my gown as I stare coldly. I see you laughing with your new lover, not minding me — the one you dumped earlier. No, I was never mad at her. But the raging heart inside mine was looking for who was the one to be put into prolonged sadness. I couldn’t help but know who was the answer.
Do you remember back then when we were still a couple, months ago before your flame burned down my whole presence? I wish I knew you never meant those sugary words you threw. I wish I knew your wishes upon us were nothing but fake. I wish I could go back, slap me in the face before I jumped into your hell filled with never-ending pain I couldn’t erase.
I was the dumbest, and yet, you’re just heartless.
Your eyes, your curved lips, and your deeds — I won’t forgive those moments when you looked at me as if I were something horrible. I bled myself for you just so you could dance on my misery. If someday I throw a party with you beneath my feet, hoping to get me back, would you be put in agony?
I was losing you, me, and what once was mine. Who knows, in the meantime, you’ll be losing your sunshine?
I was feeling gloomy, and you have a lifetime to be sorry, but once again, you leave me that easy.
Laugh and be happy while you can. Years later, you probably find yourself staring at the things I purposely left behind, especially for you to mourn when you finally get your sense back. You were staring at them fondly, as if you never spat me into the garbage nearby. You started to choke on your own spit, tears running on your cheeks, yet you wiped it. I wish you were aware that you’re not allowed to cry anytime you remember me. Sure, you never cried for me.
I wish you never vented out all your emotions; I wish your pride will swallow them so you have no choice but to eat all of them, only to end up being lonely.
I’d dare to face another winter if it means I can see you curled in suffer. Every sigh of my breath is a curse. Watch me as I make you remember every great detail of my laughter. What you did to me will go back to you ten times better. You cry, you bleed, you shatter, you burn, you drown, and I will be making fun of your tears as I watch you kneel before my haunted gown.
